Metal Music is from the DEBIL!
This is a rant article I wrote for "The Pit Monthly"
magazine February edition.
So there I was watching the Montell Williams show
(shut-up, I had nothing better to do) and he starts talking about how Heavy
Metal caused these kids to go crazy and start killing people. I just about
shit my pants. Aren’t we past this part of our evolution yet? Haven’t we gotten
past this media obsession with blaming music and video games for the downward
spiral in society? I guess not.
I remember back when the media was trying to blame Ozzy for people committing
suicide. Blaming metal music for the alleged increase in satanic-type ritualistic
slayings. I recall vividly a ban on all metal music in schools; we weren’t
even allowed to have their tapes in our backpacks or wear their t-shirts.
Religious groups were saying Heavy Metal was from the devil and all children
who listen to it will become pawns in Satan’s grand plan. I had a neighbor
tell her kids to stop coming over to my house because I was “One of those
heavy metal heathens” and I even got accused of stealing their cat for a
satanic ritual in the backyard. We have been told if we play the Heavy Metal
records backward we will hear a message from Lucifer himself enticing us
to kill our parents and rape our dogs, all for the glory that is Hell. You
ever play one of those Christian records backwards? Be still my beating heart,
its Satan himself!
Good ole Montell was letting these back-woods, undereducated, missing-link
parents talk about how their kids were enticed by the devil through the use
of hard core music to kill people and perform unspeakable acts upon humanity.
Little Johnny was such a good kid before he started listening to all that
devil music and hanging around with his new Goth friends! I am paraphrasing
of course, but the basic idea of the show is all right there.
Lets look at this from a logical point of view for a minute; I know it’s
a stretch for some of us but bear with me. Wouldn’t it stand to reason if
hard core music was to blame for turning these “Good kids” into raving psychopathic
lunatics, that each and every one of you reading this article would ALSO
be a raving psychopathic lunatic? We should all be ticking time bombs ready
to blow at any second! Shit, I should have killed at least 50 people by now
according to their “Proof”. Wouldn’t every rock star have a prison record
a mile long and all the fans be incarcerated for offing the neighbor’s annoying
poodle while simultaneously drawing pentagrams in blood with their dicks
on the front lawn?
Instead of pointing at music and video games, lets look at the real reason
people go out and strangle their teachers and shoot up their classrooms.
It’s called mental DEFECT and it would have happened if Little Johnny were
listening to Christian rock, Heavy Metal, Blues or his little sister’s Tuba
practice. Everyone is so hell-bent on blaming the video games and the music
we listen to that they forget to look at the mental deficiencies causing
the short circuit. They all want to blame something other than genetics because
if it can happen to Little Johnny, it can happen to you too. The parents
can’t accept that it’s their fault (genetically) that their kid flipped his
lid so they must pin the blame on something or someone else. Instead of focusing
on the few freaks that run out and commit acts of senseless violence, lets
look at the overwhelming number of normal functional people who listen to
the music. We are parents and members of the PTA, we are soccer moms and dads,
we are lawyers and doctors and average everyday people.
So I say fuck them all if they can’t handle our taste in music, they can
go back to listening to Neil Diamond and leave the real music to us.